Socialites In Training

There is nothing gets on the collective tits of administrative assistants quite like people who don't do their homework properly before giving them a job to do.

Case in point, the boss who asks an assistant to get them a set of flight options from City A to City B, which will have them landing in City B at or before 10 a.m., and a return flight, the same day, that will have their pampered, indecisive little butt back in City A by 7 p.m. so they can spend some quality time with their demanding spouse and precocious 2 year old. They also tell you to go ahead and make these reservations and let them know when it's done. Now at first glance that’s a simple little request that is easy to fulfill because it is specific and concise.

You find the relevant information – Flight A will have you in City B thirty minutes before your deadline, leaving ample room for delays or airport congestion, with no faffing around with plane changes or being routed through some backwoods time warp like say…Omaha (sorry Omaha but really…) and Flight B will have you back in City A in perfect time to placate your soaped-up, screaming toddler who wants to know why mommy thinks work is more important than her bath-time. Voila! Itinerary complete.

When said flight reservations are passed along to boss, they are sent back immediately with a note that says, “Is there nothing returning later than this at all, like say a 9 p.m. flight?” like they’d inquired, or even hinted about later flights even once. I mean what part of, “I must be back home by 7 p.m.” implied you might like a much later flight? Nothing, that’s what, you degenerate, brainless shrew.

And so you rearrange the flights, complete with new 9 p.m. departure (sheesh!) and all the accompanying paperwork, just to be told, “Oh. It’s on American. Wasn’t there anything on Continental? Even if it’s much earlier?”

Then you look up the number for Office Management to see if you can borrow a crowbar to bash her head in until she is dead.