The Guv'ner Is A Touch Delirious

I woke up this morning still tired. Had a nice, long, therapeutic stretch. Briefly thought, "Wow it's pretty sunny out there today, I don't normally get the sun in here so early!", sat up, glanced at cell phone that I use as a clock, stretched some more, in a dopey, retarded manner, then gasped and did that huge double take thing, like say you'd just noticed your waiter for the evening was Elvis. You know Elvis? The dead guy with the swivelling pelvis that put the devil of lust into the hearts of 1950s' teens everywhere?

I leaped out of bed like I was being chased by a fire-breathing dragon. "How can it be TEN O'CLOCK???" I yelled to the cat, who knows a potentially volatile situation when she sees it and therefore went into a sort of Def Con emergency mode and fled under the bed.

I would like to say my alarm didn't bother going off, however as I use my phone as an alarm and I woke up clutching it in my sweaty palm, I'd wager it probably did and I decided to deactivate its noisy ass and go back to sleep. Jesus.

At least there's no Uberlord around this week to know. I am, however, dopey as all hell, feel like I have a major hangover and when I called British Airways upon arrival at work to ask for some information for my less Uberlordian boss, I hung up and realized I didn't understand a single thing they said and had to call them back to ask them again. Oops. This calls for a flow chart:I think the moral here is, "When the Uberlord is away, The Guv'ner will return to a state of undisciplined chaos". And yes, I realize that "undisciplined" in that sentence is redundant, but I'm a grammar rebel so if you don't like it....well you can just come here and say that.