Monday, April 7, 2008

Mondays Are Hereby Illegal

I spent all weekend deliberately avoiding my work email, like I do every weekend, because hello, it's the weekend and I refuse to do anything work related no matter how conscientious that might be, at least until someone pays me a shit of a lot more money than I make now or presents me with a truck loaded with gold bullion.

...Although what would you do with that? Is there somewhere you can cash-in bullion for like...dollars, or do you have to melt it down in your garage and trade it to a Mexican druglord named El Jefe, for heroin? Either way it sounds complicated and might involve much money laundering and shenanigans.

I knew however, that I would come in today to a positive influx of Uberlord emails from the other side of the world, demanding I do vague things he can't be bothered explaining or complaining about things I already did that weren't to his liking. And I have to say I was not disappointed.

OK, I WAS disappointed - I'm constantly disappointed - but I was right. A dozen emails featuring instructions to do things that weren't explained in any cohesive manner and emails not written in complete sentences. This is no way to start a week when you've had three hours sleep. I have a good mind to send one email back saying "LA LA LA can't HEAR YOU".

Anyway, he pissed me off enough to make an Uberlordian Venn Diagram:
I feel so much better now.