Today's Complaint...

The Dark Überlord’s Dictaphone broke down recently causing the world to stop spinning briefly. You might have felt the jolt? A week past Tuesday it was. The E.R.s were full of broken bones and other related maladies.

I had our office services people get him a new recorder, which they had by the next day – a lovely, silver Sony micro-recorder. Situation rectified, right?

Right.

The Dark Überlord didn’t like it. It was too “flimsy”. It has a hard plastic shell unlike the old relic we were using which was carved out of bedrock and operated by a team of dinosaurs on a treadmill. Damn thing would’ve withstood a hand grenade attack back in the day.

“This thing is too fragile.” He whined about the new Sony, hurting its fragile feelings. “We need to get something more rugged.”

I don’t know what he does with it that would constitute needing something “more rugged” since something more rugged comes with a more rugged price tag that the company will have to pay for. Maybe he plays touch football with it in his office? Or dodgeball? Maybe he chops wood with it. I don’t know or, for that matter, care.

Since our office services people laugh in my face when I put in absurd requests (they got us the “flimsy” but perfectly adequate Sony) we decided to circumvent them by ordering the desired machine online and expensing it back, which is guaranteed to give someone in our billing department a coronary since they like every penny expensed to be a penny well spent. Still there is no point arguing with an Überlord when his mind is made up.

Who knew a micro-cassette recorder (a rugged one mind you!) cost $239? Not me. I was expecting maybe….$30. Tops. Getting the money back should be fun with a capital ‘KILL ME NOW’. Still it’s not my money so really. Who cares?

For the record, the Sony works perfectly well and since he talks into it while sitting at his desk, I’m not seeing why it needs to be made of solid steel to begin with but then I’m not a pampered fuckwit with fancy ideas.

All my fancy ideas involve sharp implements and soft flesh and result in death.