Well This is Boring

I got in this morning full of the joys of...well...nothing, quite frankly, since I got a hellish night's sleep due to two cats reenacting the Battle of Hastings on my bed, to find a note pushed under my office door that said, "Guv'ner - please deal with the pile of stuff on my couch."

One thing The Guv'ner does not like to find first thing in the morning, before the procurement of caffeine and the customary 2 hours winding down and waking up period, is a note wanting me to do things with "piles" of "stuff". It's like the man thinks I come here to work, for heaven's sake.

I cautiously surveyed this pile in case it included explosives. I was sort of hoping to find a chocolate cake, a keg of something icy and refreshing, Javier Bardem (minus the "No Country..." haircut, of course!), a burrito, an X-Files box set, instructions on torturing bosses, a waffle iron, a ticket to the Bahamas, a tub of Wet Ones, a lb of cheddar, a note telling me I had the next two weeks off and a shotgun.

However a Guv'ner's life is a disappointing affair and the pile contained only a shitload (this is the proper metric term for "quite a lot") of expenses from the last two foreign trips the Dark Uberlord took, some stuff on a Dictaphone tape that needed transcribing and some instructions that made no sense at all and that, on closer inspection, looked like they were possibly in Swahili. This is most unsatisfactory.

Anyway, I took care of business, scanned some things to email to vendors, cleaned my desk for the first time in about six months and to cap it all off, I somehow stapled my index finger so badly the staple was flat against my finger. You don't even want to know how I managed that. I should just suggest that you don't ever try it yourselves, kids, it will end badly and you'll get blood on your bloomers. It hurt so much that it brought tears to my jaded old eyes and I had to do laps of my office to give my body something else to think about.

So in summary, this morning the Guv'ner, a) Worked like a little bitch, and b) injured herself with a stapler. I'm accomplished I guess.